Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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