The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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