craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
BRING THE BAGELS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
