If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
