thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
