So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
