I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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