I think scott just propositioned me for sex
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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