You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
