That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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