You're so nebulous sometimes
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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