Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
