In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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