Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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