Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I supernannyed him into submission
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
