Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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