alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
