Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
