I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
