Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
