So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
