he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
