I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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