3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
