operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
