I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
