Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
