TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
