Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
