I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We were destined to go to rehab together
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
