my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
