3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
