just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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