after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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