Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
