Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
