I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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