i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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