he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
