never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
