Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
