We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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