i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Can Purell be used as lube?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
