Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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