So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just gargled with NyQuil
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
