I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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