So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
not ubering you a puppy
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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