you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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