Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
