Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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